This was the entry of my devotional book for the morning of the 8th:
Accept each day exactly as it comes to you. By that, I mean not only the circumstances of your day but also the condition of your body. Your assignment is to trust Me absolutely, resting in My sovereignty and faithfulness.
On some days, your circumstances and your physical condition feel out of balance: The demands on you seem far greater than your strength. Days like that present a choice between two alternatives – giving up or relying on Me. Even if you wrongly choose the first alternative, I will not reject you. You can turn to Me at any point, I will help you crawl out of the mire of discouragement. I will infuse My strength into you moment by moment, giving you all that you need for this day. Trust Me, by relying on My empowering Presence.
Psalm 42:5 “Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.”
II Corinthians 13:4 “For though he was crucified through weakness, yet he liveth by the power of God. For we also are weak in him, but we shall live with him by the power of God toward you.”
Jeremiah 31:25 “For I have satiated the weary soul, and I have replenished every sorrowful soul.”
These are my thoughts from my personal Bible reading:
This morning I was reading about King David. In the passage that I was reading, David was not king yet. Saul was king and Samuel went to Saul and declared that the Lord has chosen another and Samuel said that he would not see Saul again. He kept his word and he did not go to Saul again. Samuel went in search of God’s chosen. He goes to the house of Jesse and inquires the Lord of each son for the next king. The Lord answers no so he asks if there are any more sons and Jesse says one. When David comes in Samuel knows that he is the chosen of the Lord. Samuel anoints David and the Bible says that at that moment the spirit of the Lord departed from Saul. An evil spirit came upon Saul and he needed comforting. David was called upon to play the harp for him. At this point Saul was not aware that Samuel had anointed David. David on the other hand had full knowledge of what had occurred. He knew that he would be king. He didn’t know when that would take place but he knew that was the Lord’s plan for him. After receiving the knowledge of what God had for him things didn’t get easier. They got more difficult as time went on. Saul became jealous and angry toward David. He sought to kill him and tried when he got the chance. Saul’s son on the other hand had more integrity than Saul did. Jonathan loved David as a brother and sought to protect him every chance he could.
David is my favorite person to read about in the Bible. It wasn’t because he was perfect. If you read even a little about him you will realize that he was not without fault or sin. The Bible says that he was a man after God’s own heart. It wasn’t that he didn’t sin but that he was contrite about his sin. He may have enjoyed the pleasures of sin for a season but when he realized his sin and need for restoration with the Lord he repented readily. You see throughout the Psalms how in one psalm he praised God’s name and in the very next was seemingly in the depths of despair. He was real. He didn’t put on a front and try to be someone that he was not.
For years he lived with the knowledge that he would be king and I’m sure at times, especially when Saul was seeking his life, he questioned whether Samuel heard the Lord accurately. Even through the rough times God’s hand guided him and protected him.
As I’m in a foreign country and get discouraged at times I know that it is God’s hand that is leading me and protecting me. I may not be grandiose in appearance or manner of speech. I may not even be called to a position with admired authority. I am called to share God’s Word with children and adults who are seeking Him and some who don’t even realize that they are.
I see God’s hand daily in my life and the lives of my students. I wish I were expressive enough to write a word picture of what God has done so that anyone could visualize it and rejoice with me. I daily see him at work.
Since being in Kenya I feel like I’m a different person. I don’t mean that in a good way either. There’s a saying that when a tea bag is put into hot water its contents seep out. I’m dismayed by what I see in myself since being here. Attitudes that I never had in the States seem to be a daily struggle. I was very frustrated with being confronted with my sin face to face. In the States it’s easier to hide our sins even from ourselves. Life is easier back home. If I was tired I could pop something in the microwave. I could simply rinse fruits and veggies before eating them. Here I have to prepare every meal. I do not have a microwave at home. I have to soak fruits and veggies for 15-20 minutes before they are useable. Here I do not have the luxury of my own transportation yet. Things simply take longer here. Even grocery shopping is sometimes a fiasco. I hope never complain about Wal-Mart again. Through all these frustrations the Lord is teaching me valuable lessons. I have to die daily to myself and live daily to the Lord.
If someone had explained certain things about Kenya to me in the States I would not have understood. I read and got as much information as I could before arriving here. It was great but none of it prepared me fully. The thing most valuable to me here is my relationship with the Lord. He has never failed me in the past nor will He fail me in the future. He has been my constant for the last 10 ½ years. No matter what circumstances come my way or how my feelings change I know that He is with me wherever I go. He promises that He will never leave me nor forsake me. He’s growing me and although I’m not moldable at times I’m thankful for the hard times just as much as the easy ones. He is refining me with fire and I praise His name for it!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
This entry may be my longest yet. I kept a list during the week so that when I finally had time to blog I could write out my entry and not forget quite so much as I normally do.
This last week I looked down at my feet and saw my tennis shoes. They were rusty looking. When I bought them they were bright white. The dirt on our soccer field is this color. I’ve only seen pictures of red dirt and of course seen it in Anne of Green Gables on Prince Edward Island. I quite enjoy looking out over our soccer field. The red dirt against the green grass, with the blue sky above, and varied green trees behind makes for a beautiful scene. I run around this field twice a week. My students have PE on Tuesdays and Wednesdays at the end of the day. While they are out for PE I take the opportunity to get a little exercise in. It’s a great release for the culture stress that sometimes tends to build up.
One night week before last one of the guy teachers came over to use our water so he could take a shower. His water had already been out for a week at his apartment. Well he rode his bike to our place. While he was in the shower we heard a light knock at the door. I opened the door and one of the girls in our apartment complex stood before me. She leaned forward and pointed to our friend’s bike. She simply said, “Can I have that bike?” She was 100% serious! I said “no honey you can’t have our friend’s bike.” She shrugged her shoulders and cheerfully said, “ok.”
My roommate Amy and I took a taxi for the first time last week. We shared it with Amber and her daughter Abbey. Amber’s husband teaches at the school. It was quite the experience. It was raining and we were stuck in serious traffic. We were coming from a shopping center called YaYa. YaYa is a four-minute walk from our house but it was late at night and dangerous to walk home. People were driving in the wrong lane to get around the traffic and were causing more traffic problems. People were driving along the ‘sidewalk’. The sidewalks here are not nice cement ones. They are basically dirt paths. There are also no stoplights here. While waiting in the taxi another taxi driver turned in the middle of the street to go the opposite direction and yelled out to us about ‘the manic driving’ in Kenya. He was quite amusing and we got a kick out of him.
Coming back from school one day the car Amy and I were riding in with Peter and his family got stuck in traffic. It was extremely backed up. The driver, Peter, takes his car off the main road and onto the ‘sidewalk’ with a stream of cars already flowing in that direction. We skipped so many cars that we probably saved twenty minutes. In the States we would have gotten a hefty ticket but hey this isn’t the States. Good thing because it was quite fun and exciting dodging people.
My birthday was this past Tuesday. I turned twenty-six years old. It turned out to be a great day. I went out to dinner with some of the teachers at a restaurant called ‘The Rusty Nail’. Don’t let the name fool you. It was definitely a classy little restaurant. The weather was perfect to eat outdoors and the scenery was lush and green.
The school year is in full swing. I struggle with wanting to do my best and not burning out. I realize that the expectations here are not as great as teaching in the States, but that doesn’t lessen my eagerness to do my best for the Lord. After four weeks I’m finally beginning to get adjusted to the curriculum. We took a break from school and had a retreat to Lukenya Getaways. It was very relaxing. I read almost an entire book while there. I was able to lounge in the shade with beautiful surroundings. On the way to Lukenya Getaways and back home I saw giraffes, zebras, impalas, gazelles, and wildebeests. The way home was just as bumpy as the way there. When we got to Nairobi people were between the cars in traffic selling things. Several people on the bus bought items from them. Behind me were two of the teacher’s daughters. They were listening to an ipod together and were singing and laughing. It carried through the whole bus and made for lighthearted fun.
We had devotional times during the retreat. There was a visiting pastor who preached to us. On Friday morning he gave us a message about disappointment that was very convicting. He talked about expectations and how we all come with them and when we get here we can sometimes get discouraged because of them. He also made the statement ‘it doesn’t take long to get over culture shock, but you live every day with culture stress’. That statement is very true. I’m accustomed to seeing people openly urinating on the side of the road and goats wandering around aimlessly, but I come home exhausted every day from life being harder here. There aren’t all the amenities that the States offer. Even with the culture stress I wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world. I’m right where God wants me to be and He is my strength and rock. I have more time to spend in His Word and talk to him. I don’t have the distractions that I had in the States. My relationship with my sweet Jesus grows sweeter with each passing day.
This last week I looked down at my feet and saw my tennis shoes. They were rusty looking. When I bought them they were bright white. The dirt on our soccer field is this color. I’ve only seen pictures of red dirt and of course seen it in Anne of Green Gables on Prince Edward Island. I quite enjoy looking out over our soccer field. The red dirt against the green grass, with the blue sky above, and varied green trees behind makes for a beautiful scene. I run around this field twice a week. My students have PE on Tuesdays and Wednesdays at the end of the day. While they are out for PE I take the opportunity to get a little exercise in. It’s a great release for the culture stress that sometimes tends to build up.
One night week before last one of the guy teachers came over to use our water so he could take a shower. His water had already been out for a week at his apartment. Well he rode his bike to our place. While he was in the shower we heard a light knock at the door. I opened the door and one of the girls in our apartment complex stood before me. She leaned forward and pointed to our friend’s bike. She simply said, “Can I have that bike?” She was 100% serious! I said “no honey you can’t have our friend’s bike.” She shrugged her shoulders and cheerfully said, “ok.”
My roommate Amy and I took a taxi for the first time last week. We shared it with Amber and her daughter Abbey. Amber’s husband teaches at the school. It was quite the experience. It was raining and we were stuck in serious traffic. We were coming from a shopping center called YaYa. YaYa is a four-minute walk from our house but it was late at night and dangerous to walk home. People were driving in the wrong lane to get around the traffic and were causing more traffic problems. People were driving along the ‘sidewalk’. The sidewalks here are not nice cement ones. They are basically dirt paths. There are also no stoplights here. While waiting in the taxi another taxi driver turned in the middle of the street to go the opposite direction and yelled out to us about ‘the manic driving’ in Kenya. He was quite amusing and we got a kick out of him.
Coming back from school one day the car Amy and I were riding in with Peter and his family got stuck in traffic. It was extremely backed up. The driver, Peter, takes his car off the main road and onto the ‘sidewalk’ with a stream of cars already flowing in that direction. We skipped so many cars that we probably saved twenty minutes. In the States we would have gotten a hefty ticket but hey this isn’t the States. Good thing because it was quite fun and exciting dodging people.
My birthday was this past Tuesday. I turned twenty-six years old. It turned out to be a great day. I went out to dinner with some of the teachers at a restaurant called ‘The Rusty Nail’. Don’t let the name fool you. It was definitely a classy little restaurant. The weather was perfect to eat outdoors and the scenery was lush and green.
The school year is in full swing. I struggle with wanting to do my best and not burning out. I realize that the expectations here are not as great as teaching in the States, but that doesn’t lessen my eagerness to do my best for the Lord. After four weeks I’m finally beginning to get adjusted to the curriculum. We took a break from school and had a retreat to Lukenya Getaways. It was very relaxing. I read almost an entire book while there. I was able to lounge in the shade with beautiful surroundings. On the way to Lukenya Getaways and back home I saw giraffes, zebras, impalas, gazelles, and wildebeests. The way home was just as bumpy as the way there. When we got to Nairobi people were between the cars in traffic selling things. Several people on the bus bought items from them. Behind me were two of the teacher’s daughters. They were listening to an ipod together and were singing and laughing. It carried through the whole bus and made for lighthearted fun.
We had devotional times during the retreat. There was a visiting pastor who preached to us. On Friday morning he gave us a message about disappointment that was very convicting. He talked about expectations and how we all come with them and when we get here we can sometimes get discouraged because of them. He also made the statement ‘it doesn’t take long to get over culture shock, but you live every day with culture stress’. That statement is very true. I’m accustomed to seeing people openly urinating on the side of the road and goats wandering around aimlessly, but I come home exhausted every day from life being harder here. There aren’t all the amenities that the States offer. Even with the culture stress I wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world. I’m right where God wants me to be and He is my strength and rock. I have more time to spend in His Word and talk to him. I don’t have the distractions that I had in the States. My relationship with my sweet Jesus grows sweeter with each passing day.
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