Same Old, Same Old

Do you ever feel like Satan attacks you in the same ways all the time? Or do you feel like you beat yourself up over silly things? If you've answered yes to either or both of the preceding questions then thank you! I'm glad I'm not alone. Sometimes it seems like I struggle with the same things over and over again. I'm thankful for a gracious God who always lovingly forgives and helps me to move on. I can't help but wish that the struggles were never there in the first place. Maybe I sound a bit unspiritual but honestly who wants hardships? I'm not exactly raising my hand to be first in line. Since becoming a Christian 11 1/2 years ago it seems like what I struggle with most comes into my life in rotations. They are the same few that take turns torturing me. Okay so enough of my ramblings about struggles. The same God who allows all these thorns into my life is the same God who gives me the strength to overcome them.

Peace

On a humorous note: yesterday I got a marriage proposal from one of the workers at my apartment complex. I was most amused because he was 100% serious. I was told I'd get a proposal before my contract was up but I didn't quite believe until yesterday. Silly Kenya lol!

On a serious note: today I got my car checked out. Three different people checked it out and the outcome is that I shouldn't repair anything on my car. I should sell it as is and use the money to go toward a better vehicle. On the bright side they all said I'd get back more for it than what I originally thought.

I'm surprisingly at peace about this whole situation. I've realized that there's no need to stress because it's all in the Lord's hands. Worrying over what ifs doesn't help anyone, least of all me.

Next week I'm hoping to help with my church's camp the first half of the week. The last two days I have teacher orientation. It should be a busy but fun week.

Prayer

It's odd to think that my life was so carefree and lacking stress only one week ago. Now I'm home and beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed. There's a strong possibility that I'll need to get a new vehicle. This means that I'll need to sell the one I currently have before even looking for another one. I will also need more money to afford a better vehicle. This also means that while I'm selling and then looking I'll be catching rides to school with other teachers. On top of that I can't get a hold of my house help and I've been working on school stuff and deep cleaning my apartment the past few days. I haven't even tackled cleaning my dirty clothes by hand. Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I! I know the Lord is still in control and has a purpose for all this. Just because things aren't going my way does not mean that it's the end of the world. I'm being stretched and that's never fun. Please pray about these things with me. Thanks!

Car Troubles

I almost forgot to mention my car. Please pray as I've come home to bad news about its condition. My car is in worse shape than I originally thought. I'm going to get a thorough inspection this week. Once I know exactly all that's wrong with it then I'll know whether I should fix the problems, fix the problems and sell it, or sell as is and buy a new one. It's not exactly pleasant news but I'm trusting the Lord to provide. I may just have to have a roommate after all and use the money for the other half of rent to buy a new car. Please pray with me :-)

Work, Work, Work

Yesterday I worked at the school from 9am - 4pm. I'm in the same room as I was last year. I felt crowded last year and so I decided I would try a different set up in the same room. I emptied out my huge solid wood cabinet, and both bookshelves. With the help of another teacher I moved all my furniture around and now I'm very pleased with the results. It should now be spacious enough for my current 23 students. Emptying everything also gave me opportunity to reorganize my cabinet. Everyone was very surprised to see me at school yesterday. Most of the teachers who go home to the States come back as last minute as possible. Personally I like to be super organized before the school year starts. I also missed Kenya sooo much!! I am so glad I came back early.

Home Sweet Home

I am back in Kenya now and very glad to be back! I flew in Thursday evening and then took a taxi to Lukenya. I stayed with my pastor and his wife until Saturday morning. On Saturday Bethany, the Weaver's intern, and I drove into Nairobi. Over the last few days I've been working on unpacking my suitcases and getting settled into my apartment again. I had a wonderful time catching up with people at church yesterday. After church I went to Habesha (my favorite Ethiopian restaurant) with a group of American girls and one Canadian girl. We had a wonderful time! Sadly Bethany left to go back to Lukenya with the Weavers after lunch and a stroll around the market.

I look forward to this coming school year. I have been praying for my new students. Mostly I have been praying that God would be evidently present on our campus this year. Please pray with me!!

Getting Ready

Today has been a super busy day! I spent the majority of the day shopping for all the things I need to take back to Kenya with me. I hope I can fit it all in my suitcases! I had the privilege of shopping with a wonderful lady from my home church. My only thought is - Why did I not spend time with her all those years I was living in Jacksonville? I know that things happen in God's timing though. Our time was so special because we had so much to share with each other that even two years ago could not have been shared. My new friend and I's conversation included a lot of talk about God's sovereignty. Today has reminded me yet again that God's ways are higher than our ways.

To think that God takes notice of a sinner like me baffles my mind. I fail Him and disobey Him and yet He still loves me!!! On Sunday we had Hosanna House sing a special during the morning service. Hosanna House is a home for struggling, troubled, and rebellious teenagers. They sang of redemption in Christ and it was evident that they believed every word that poured out of their mouth. Looking at my past it is obvious that God has had His hand in my life. I never want to forget about the power of salvation. I want to shout out "MY SINS ARE FORGIVEN!" Everyone I know has a unique testimony about how they came to know Christ as their personal Savior. Not one story is the same because each person is different. I believe it's good to share your testimony with others because while it may be a blessing to others it reminds us that our Heavenly Father cares enough to have sent His very best - Jesus Christ! I am also reminded that were it not for grace I don't know where life would have led me. It is by God's grace that I've made a lot of good choices and I didn't take a path that led to destruction. Have you thanked God for salvation today? Do you know God as your personal Savior? If you don't please send me a comment with your e-mail address included and I'll write you and share with you how you can have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and know that your sins are forgiven.

Anticipation

I have had a wonderful summer. I have spent time with so many friends and almost all of my family. Even though the summer has been great I can't wait to get back to Kenya. I'm praying that God will do some pretty amazing things in both my life and those that I know in this coming year. More and more I am aware of my desperate need for the Lord and my dependence on Him. This summer at times I've felt stretched in all directions. I've upset people because of not visiting them or needing to change my plans. My motivation was not to hurt anyone. I don't like knowing that people are upset with me. Do you ever feel like you have defining moments in life? I had one this week. I won't go into specific details but I'll let you know what it was about. This summer I've wanted to please people because I love these people and care a lot about them. Yet I longed for the quiet moments I'd have in Kenya where it was just me and the Lord spending unhindered time together. I came to the decision that no matter how much I love my family and friends they can't have first place in my life. The Lord is the only one worthy of that place. I shouldn't be, but I'm still amazed at how often God has to tear down idols in my life and refocus me. His tender loving care is more than I deserve. My life would have no purpose if not for Him. Well meaning people keep asking me when I'm going to move back, settle down, and have a family. The truth is that I do want to get married one day. I have no doubts that God has an amazing man out there for me. At the same time I wouldn't trade this unhindered time with my Savior for anything! I spend a lot of time with friends and family members who have children. While I want many children someday I know how demanding they are. I'm always watching mommies with their little ones to get ideas for the future. There is still so much work left on me before I'm ready for marriage and children. In the meantime I'm following God's direction and not just waiting to be swept off my feet. I'm seeking His will above my own. This song came to mind with my defining moment that God needs first place.


Lyrics to Draw Me Close To You :

Verse:
Draw me close to you.
Never let me go.
I lay it all down again.
To hear you say that I'm your friend.
You are my desire.
No one else will do.
Cause no one else can take the place.
To fill the warmth of Your embrace.
Help me find a way.
To bring me back to You.

Chorus:
You're all I want.
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want.
Help me know You are near.

Shopping

Today I went looking for things that I'll need in Kenya. I must have spent over an hour in the teacher store. There was so much to choose from. I like shopping in the teacher store because I like to find things that I can use for my students. Today's experience in a store was very different from my experience last week. I went with some family members to a pet store because they needed dog food. We went to Petco or some huge store like it. I was amazed at all the things they sold! While there are children starving in other countries people are spending there money on $6.00 rope knots for their animals to chew on or $15.00 pet outfits. Some bags of dog food in that store cost $50.00 or more. There is plenty of money in the world but are we really spending our money wisely? I felt sick when I left that store. Even as I was shopping for educational tools to use with my students I was hesitant to buy certain things because I knew they'd be a waste of money. I guess it's all about perspective and values.

Side note: I'm tired of people talking about Michael Jackson like he was some sort of saint. In light of eternity will his music impact the next generation for Christ? Do his values mirror that of what God's Word teaches? Conversations lately seem to be engulfed with talk of Jackson and his viewing/funeral. As Christians we need to encourage children to exemplify Christ and His characteristics and not that of celebrities.

He never ceases to amaze me!

I got some less than exciting news two nights ago on an e-mail. My first response was to let out an exasperated grunt. I know, I know...not very spiritual. Then I proceeded to complain for about 30 seconds. In the midst of the complaining I realized that the best thing to do was pray. I stopped and approached the throne of the only One who could make a difference in my situation. Within 24 hours the request was answered in full. Our God truly is amazing!!!