Anticipation

I have had a wonderful summer. I have spent time with so many friends and almost all of my family. Even though the summer has been great I can't wait to get back to Kenya. I'm praying that God will do some pretty amazing things in both my life and those that I know in this coming year. More and more I am aware of my desperate need for the Lord and my dependence on Him. This summer at times I've felt stretched in all directions. I've upset people because of not visiting them or needing to change my plans. My motivation was not to hurt anyone. I don't like knowing that people are upset with me. Do you ever feel like you have defining moments in life? I had one this week. I won't go into specific details but I'll let you know what it was about. This summer I've wanted to please people because I love these people and care a lot about them. Yet I longed for the quiet moments I'd have in Kenya where it was just me and the Lord spending unhindered time together. I came to the decision that no matter how much I love my family and friends they can't have first place in my life. The Lord is the only one worthy of that place. I shouldn't be, but I'm still amazed at how often God has to tear down idols in my life and refocus me. His tender loving care is more than I deserve. My life would have no purpose if not for Him. Well meaning people keep asking me when I'm going to move back, settle down, and have a family. The truth is that I do want to get married one day. I have no doubts that God has an amazing man out there for me. At the same time I wouldn't trade this unhindered time with my Savior for anything! I spend a lot of time with friends and family members who have children. While I want many children someday I know how demanding they are. I'm always watching mommies with their little ones to get ideas for the future. There is still so much work left on me before I'm ready for marriage and children. In the meantime I'm following God's direction and not just waiting to be swept off my feet. I'm seeking His will above my own. This song came to mind with my defining moment that God needs first place.


Lyrics to Draw Me Close To You :

Verse:
Draw me close to you.
Never let me go.
I lay it all down again.
To hear you say that I'm your friend.
You are my desire.
No one else will do.
Cause no one else can take the place.
To fill the warmth of Your embrace.
Help me find a way.
To bring me back to You.

Chorus:
You're all I want.
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want.
Help me know You are near.